LIFE is not about my story. LIFE is about me serving Him and other people

Have you ever done something good towards other people while personally, you are in great pain? (Something like serving other people while your heart is broken and shattered)

I would like to admit that, personally, I was in great pain this whole summer. 

I had encountered a lot of painful stuffs.

I had done a lot of unbearable things towards other people.

I had made wrong and foolish decisions.

But God did not end with that. He made something amazing in my life…

PART ONE: “Focus not on the PAIN but on the PRIZE”

Have you ever felt that your life is like a race that never ends? 

A race that made you weary and eventually made you hopeless.

A race that made you say “I GIVE UP”

Personally, this summer, I almost gave up. I felt that pain was like the air, it was all around me. It was unbearable. I felt that I was running without stop. I may have endured the pain at first but now, I gave up. 

One day, out of nowhere, I saw my friend. He was a cyclist. I saw him remove his cycling shirt and I was astounded because I saw his original color. He was fair skinned. I was about to ask him why does he continue cycling when it will just burn his skin when a voice within me said “…because he focuses on the prize and not on the pain. He focuses himself on the feeling on getting into the finish line and not on the scourging heat of sun”. This made me realize that even though I have a lot of problems, I should always focus on the prize.

I must not give up but I must give all

PART TWO: “No is not a REJECTION but a REDIRECTION in life”

I was filled with doubt.

I remembered that it came to a point that I doubted God because my prayers seemed to be rejected. 

It seemed that God’s answering machine of prayers was broken. 

It seemed that God’s cellular phone of hope was in silent mode.

Because I was filled with pain and I want to change, I went into a confession. The priest told me that I was looking at my problems as if it were the biggest thing in life. He told me that these problems are actually minute in size. He told me that I could take charge of it and I just have to prioritize which problem should I focus first. This thing gave me direction in life. 

I thought that the unanswered prayers are God’s way of rejecting me but I realized that God wanted me to be redirected towards Him. I realized that I have done many things that made me lost He just wanted me to be on track again. 

My doubt towards Him turned into trust.

ONE FINAL SHARING

This summer, just like what I've said, I was in great pain.

My relationship with two special person to me are not that good compared before.

I have done a lot of wrong things to other people.

I took the trust of other people for granted.

I doubted God.

My life was a mess. I served God but I didn't found any direction in life. Some people told me that I made my service as my comfort zone. They told me that I served God because I find comfort in service. They told me that I serve God not because I want to serve Him but because I want to make myself comfortable. I almost agreed to them because somehow they are telling the truth but I believe God told me another thing…

During one camp, the speaker held a glass full of clear water. He then compared that glass to our life with God in our heart. Clear. Fresh. Perfect. But then sin came. He compared sin to chocolate powder. When poured on the glass of water, the water becomes dirty. But because God loves us, He poured and filled us with love and this was compared with water. God did not poured His love to us once. He poured His love to us again and again and again. He never get tired of pouring His love to us. And whenever you pour clean water into a container filled with dirty water, have you noticed that the dirt gradually decreases. The glass is not changed or thrown. It is still the same glass as before but gradually, the water in it becomes cleaner.

That is how God works in our lives. He made us perfect in the beginning but whenever we commit sin, we become dirtier but God wants us to be changed and not thrown away because we are useless. He sees something great in our lives a midst all the dirt in our heart. He don’t count the sins we have in our lives. He changes our lives through LOVE and not CONDEMNATION. 

I believe, this is the message of God to us. We may have done a lot of mess in life. We may have served Him selfishly but I believe service is where we feel His love to us. And through love, our lives are changed for the better.

HE WILL DO EVERYTHING JUST TO SAVE US. That HE WOULD GAVE UP EVERYTHING HE HAVE AND LOVE IN ORDER TO GAIN OUR LOVE. And when we realized this, He knew that we would change our lives and this change is our response to His UNFAILING LOVE TO US. 

Now, I know that I may have a lot of flaws. Sometimes I serve for my own gratitude and glory but I know that someday, I will fully serve for His gratitude and glory.

We cannot give what we don't have. We cannot love if we cannot experience love. That is why God fill our lives with Unconditional Love. So that we could love other people unconditionally and through this love, we could experience true happiness and hope in life.